A Dysregulated Nervous System Means I’m Pulling Thoughts From: A Fact Grab Bag

I was playing Scrabble® and I pulled these letters:

M F A Y L U T

Do you See the Words that those letters spell?

*Find the answer at the end of this post

Have you ever played Scrabble®?

Let me share a little Scrabble® background with you just in case: There are lots and lots of little wooden tiles with a letter from the alphabet inscribed onto one side of each one of the tiles. The other side of the tile is blank. To begin the game, all the tiles are then placed in some sort of dense fabric bag. In our house, we shake the bag up for a few seconds and then take turns with other players reaching in and grabbing letters. From these random letters you begin the game:

Form words from random letters.

I find this part of the game fascinating. And, there is much laughter and wars that emerge as we challenge each other for an official call if a word is real or not. In fact, people find the importance of fact checking Scrabble® words SO important, that Merriam-Webster has a division of their dictionary just for checking if a word is usable or not. For real… Check it out here if you want: Scrabble Word Finder | Official Scrabble Players Dictionary (merriam.com)

So

What I’m telling you

Is that:

People fact check words in a game more than they fact check their own thoughts.

Yep.

Think about it for a moment…

Today, how many things have you heard your mind say about yourself, the past or the future that created anxiety, guilt, fear, sadness, anger… And the kicker is: The things your mind has said are completely unfact-checked (yes, I made that word up).

Things like:

I’ll be alone forever.

I’m a worthless failure.

I’ll never get this done.

Why do they expect me to do everything?

No one loves me. No one ever will.

She is amazing and I’m a bump on a lump.

It’s my fault OR It’s her/his/their fault.

Ok - If you would… Take a break from reading this and notice the Body IS Breathing for 3 breaths. I had a difficult time writing these and I imagine you may have had a challenge reading them. There may be one of those sentences that your mind said: “YES! That’s me! I feel like that all the time!”

If your mind has attached to one of these sentences, then most likely your nervous system has been engaged and you may feel uncomfortable sensations as your mind and body navigate if you are in danger or not.

NOW IS THE TIME TO REMEMBER:

THESE WORDS ARE UNFACT-CHECKED. THEY HAVE BEEN PULLED FROM A FACT GRAB BAG BY A DYSREGULATED BRAIN.

As we saw in last month’s RAD, the brain of a dysregulated nervous system, doesn’t have access to the Prefrontal Cortex. So rational thought is not accessible for a bit. This means that many of the sentences formed that you hear in your head are pulling from undigested traumatic experiences or imperfection from genetics or experiences you’ve encountered in this world.

During this time of dysregulation, you may notice sentences show up in your brain that are very painful. It is VERY important to remember that these sentences are your brain’s way of trying to make sense of a physical sensation that your body is experiencing. The cute little dysregulated brain is trying its best to help get you out of danger, but all it has is a bunch of words in a fabric bag that it’s pulling out to form a sentence.

For example:

I have to work late. My friends are all going out. I feel sad. My brain and nervous system remember when I felt sad when I was little, and something happened to my parents. The nervous system begins to dysregulate, it wasn’t safe to be sad back then and now my brain is confused, and it has only a Fact Grab Bag to work from…

What Happens Next?

My brain begins to randomly pull-out words from the Fact Grab Bag:

Sad-Friends-Alone-Before-Always-Never-My Fault-Failure

Then it says to me:

“I’m a failure and I’ll always be alone.”

Then, my Amygdala** says:

“Oh my Goodness!!! It’s happening again!!! He’s not safe!!! Send down more Cortisol and Adrenaline!!!”

And then I feel a wave of uncomfortable body sensations -which in turn my brain takes as confirmation for the Fact Grab Bag sentence.

And on and on and on we go in a dysregulated UnFact-Checked state.

How do I grow and move on, you ask? Is it possible?

YES.

Here are some Secrets that are, in fact, Not Secret:

1. Begin to understand what sentences MY brain pulls from the Fact Grab Bag when I’m in a dysregulated state.

2. Learn HOW to navigate the uncomfortable sensations that come with dysregulation.

3. Remember that Dysregulation Happens. This is not something wrong with me. It is something I’ve never been taught how to care for in my body.

If I live my life without learning how to Fact Check the sentences my brain says, I will be frozen in a Trauma Loop, never tasting the Freedom that comes from Understanding that not everything I say in my head is True.

So… Those letters I pulled out of the Scrabble® bag?

They spell out:

*MY FAULT

And these words have no power over me. I know the Truth. I know that sometimes my brain pulls a Fact Grab Bag sentence on me. I know that sometimes I feel uncomfortable sensations in my body. I know that some emotions are easier to experience than others.

And

I Know that I Am Safe

No Matter What.

**Learn more about what happens in your Amygdala when a Fact Grab Bag sentence shows up in the Series: I Am Not A Scientist, But I’m Learning Science Things below.

Practical Application:

This month, is it Safe to begin to be curious about your own Fact Grab Bag sentences?

Questions to Ponder:

What are common sentences I tell myself in stressful situations?

Is there a commonality that I can discern when those sentences are louder in my brain? i.e.: Time of Day, Association, Blood sugar, Sensations in the Body, Temperature.

When you notice a Fact Grab Bag sentence…

Ask yourself:

Is this True?

Am I in a Dysregulated State?

How do I Know I AM Safe Right Now?

PRO TIP:

Feel Free to tell the Dysregulated Brain -

“Thank you so much for that commentary. Do you know the Body is Breathing?”

And then notice what, if anything, happens.

A brief video to explore this topic a little more and then a song I found that you may relate to when Fact Grab Bag is loud:

SERIES: I am Not a Scientist - But I’m Learning Science Things

Oh Amygdala - Emotions in the Shape of 2 Almonds

The word Amygdala comes from a Greek work meaning: Almond, cause, yeah… They are both shaped like almonds. Oh and, yes, they come in a pair, one for the Left hemisphere and one for the Right hemisphere of the brain.

They are tucked away nice and cozy almost in the center of the brain in the section called the: Temporal lobe. If you were going on a search for them, you could draw a line from the eyes and the ears and where the two lines meet in the middle is about where you’ll find those cuties!

These little ones have most commonly been researched around our amazing fear response, more often heard of as the 4 F’s: Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn. But because they are unconsciously receiving all information around us and forming connections between events and experiences, they also are involved with remembering positive associations as well!

The Amygdala receives all the information we are receiving from the world and the Prefrontal Cortex and other sensory systems and then unconsciously acts to let us know if something is dangerous or pleasurable.

In essence, these ones protect us from what may be harmful or was harmful or remind us of good things that were or are happy.

For example:

This song was playing, and I was in an accident. The Amygdala will remember the song = harm. When the song plays, it will warn me of danger automatically.

Or

This song plays and I had the best meal ever. The Amygdala will remember the song = amazing nourishment. When the song plays, I will want yummy food.

So… It’s essentially where our conditioning takes place… Things happen here unconsciously because the Amygdala gets the information and stores it to control our responses automatically to keep us Safe!

The Amygdala doesn’t have to learn HOW to be afraid, it learns WHEN to be afraid. These little nuggets are automatic and unconscious, and they need our support and understanding, not judgment and critique. Imagine judging the lungs for breathing?!! Nope. But if my lungs needed support, I would find the matching need and say: Yes, Please & Thank You!

Learning about the functions of these 2 little ones working as a team, is a powerful way to begin working WITH my amazing Body instead of blaming it for natural and supportive functions.

Next month, let’s explore:

The Hippocampus… This is where conscious memories are stored… Holy Cannoli… We can do it!!!

In Science and Safety, Laughter and Connection,

Alecia

* LEARNING BONUS *

Click the links below to watch two brief videos:

NEW MONTHLY FEATURE

GRATITUDE HIGHLIGHT OF THE MONTH:

Thank you…

Stefan

You are amazing. From day one, you met my fast brain in a way that was supportive and intriguing… I shared Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and you shared Vonnegut and we became friends for life.

I walk through this life with a vitality and energy that can power jet planes, and this can both scare and enthrall some people. But you? You are steady and hold space for me to grow and celebrate this brain I walk with. You do so in a way that cannot be matched. You are a gift that I don’t truly have words for, and you know how many words I have…

Thank you my Best Dear One

Alecia